I have only talked about adoption on this blog in a mostly positive way. I have mentioned the word disruption a few times and most in the adoption community know what it means. Sometimes the words disruption and dissolution are used interchangeably but I usually use the word disruption. Disruption is a term used for stopping the adoption process before it is finalized and dissolution is a term for legally undoing the adoption process after it is finalized. Disruption is considered a bad word in adoption and I, personally never thought it could happen to us. As all of my friends and family may know we adopted for a second time last April and our lives have not been the same since. We disrupted the little girl we adopted after having her for 5 months. We knew when we first met her it was not a good match, but felt we had to try and make things work. She had more needs than we were told of and our family never bonded with her. Our extended family did not see things the way we did and our relationships have been forever changed. It is funny to me how people think they have a right to have an opinion in your life and want to make decisions solely based on what they want. Sometimes hard decisions have to be made in life and my husband and I had to make some hard decisions. Most importantly through everything we have done from adoption to disruption we have learned to listen to what we know within ourselves and not cave to what others are saying. Adoption is not a journey for some folks and disruption is never the path intended but God found a way to use us in his plan and I am thankful. I look at the photos of our family before and after our second adoption and think, "What happened"? The emotional toll has been hard on us and our kids but I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I pray God will use our experience to help others. I would say to anyone who knows someone having trouble after adoption to not judge the situation or the family. You honestly never know until you have walked in their shoes. If it can happen to us, it can happen to anybody. Sometimes love is not enough, sometimes those hard life decisions are not popular with anybody but they still have to be made. The most important thing that I know from our experience is that life is short, too short to care about what people think and the other thing is that God will only give you as much as you can handle. We have emerged a more loving and understanding family. I thought when I lost my first child at 9 days due to prematurity that I could never hurt that way again but it made me feel a deep empathy for others who lost children. Now, I have a deep understanding of an adoption gone wrong and feel such empathy for others having issues. If God will allow I want to be there for others as much as possible and share our story as unpopular as the topic is. I am hoping Scott and I can teach our children to be understanding and caring people through our lives. We have so much fun together and life goes so quickly, we can't just hit pause. We are so blessed and happy with our family and want to share with everyone!!!
